Manfred's Birth Story.

For so long that I haven't blogged, I dunno where to begin. Ok, maybe on the birth of Manfred first. 

On the second day after i delivered, I wrote my experience on FB. Wanted to share with my friends out there, especially those going to deliver...

"On the 11th July, I thought this would be the day. My son, Manfred will be nicknamed 7-11. But my son didn't wanted to be a convenience store afterall. 

On the 11th July, I was admitted, with a crazy crowd of big-stomach women waiting at the labour ward. Manfred was 39 weeks, and Doc Ho wanted to induce him already. But the cervix was tough and hard, so he needs the cervix to be soften and dilated before he can induce Baby Manfred, and he inserted the pill to dilate. 

At 2pm, my contractions started, mlld and bearable, not any issue.. just like any menses cramp I had in the past. Pain is good. And it got "better" as time passed. At about 8pm, I started to even have problem walking around. Good. 

At 10 plus, the hubby went back home to rest for the battle the next day. I tossed and turned in bed, but couldn't sleep well as the contractions came more frequently and the pain level got higher. 

At 4.30am, I was sent to the delivery suite, aka waiting for labour! I called the hubby, and he reached within 15min! Salute! 

At 6.30am, still no progress yet, asked hubby to go catch some breakfast, in case its gonna be a LOOOOONNNNGGGGG wait. 

At 8am, Doc Ho came and checked for dilation, it's progressed to 1.5cm and cervix has soften, therefore we proceeded to induce Manfred. I was put on drip to fasten the progress of induction. 

At 9am, I couldn't stand the pain anymore, afterall, I have suffered for 18 hours of contraction pains already and each time getting stronger and more frequent. My tears automatically rolled down my cheeks as I frowned and felt helpless. The hubby stood up, went out to the nurses' counter, and seek epidural assistance. I thought I could 'tahan' somemore, but I moaned in pain. The "laughing gas" didnt help much. 

The EPIDURAL was MAGICAL, though I had to suffered the 3 jabs into my lower spine. But it was magical. Numb waist down after shortly 5-10 min. It didnt feel good at first to have numby legs, but I couldnt feel the labour contractions at all. Magical. 

At 11am, it was 6cm!

At 12.30am, it was 8-9cm.

And at 1.35am, 9.5cm! We began to push. 

Manfred was in a OB position, meaning, he was supposed to be facing inwards - to my backspine, instead he faced outwards to my tummy. Doctor said under such circumstances, some doctors will go for C-sect, but my doc is a very PRO-nature birth person, so he said he will try to turn the position of the baby.

The midwife came in and taught me how to PUSH. Doc Ho wasn't around. It was not easy to push as I was on epidural and didnt really know how to PUSH, where to PUSH. Well, there's always a first time to everything. 

So, we pushed and pushed, and PUUUUUSSSSSHHHHHED, only when the contraction peak is coming up, so that gave me some breathers in between. 

After 45min of pushing, I was tired already, and there is still no progress. Manfred was still inside. So they have to call in Doc Ho for assistance, while I rested for a while and the nurses prepared all the neccesary equipments. 

Doc Ho came in and started to use the vacuum to turn Manfred's position facing inwards. He tried a lot of times, and I tried pushing a lot of times too. It was mad desperate and tired. The pushing took too long, Manfred is gettin stressed, everybody in the room was getting stressed too. From one midwife, they called in another 2-3 more to help. 

I thought it was coming, as I have already tried my bestest and I was already on the verge of giving up. But Doc Ho looked at me with a serious look and said "no, he is not progressing". 

I cried. I didn't know what to do anymore. First time in my life, I wanted something to happen so badly. Doc Ho said I can't cry, I needed to concentrate. I needed to HELP HIM get Manfred out. The hubby was very encouraging beside me. Very supportive. Never doubting me while I doubted myself very much. 

I was given oxygen. 

The problem was the baby was a little too big. And he was stuck. And he was gettin stressed. If I could not manage to push him out in these 2 final rounds, I might have to go for C-sect which also means, I will have 2 sets of stitches!

I GAVE IT MY ALL! THE BIGGEST BREATH IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. THE LONGEST BREATH HELD! THE HARDEST PUSH! 

"Ok, baby is coming. Mei Lian, Final Push, Baby is coming!"

The hubby saw Doc Ho seriously using his strength to PULL Manfred out. 

Manfred cried.

Manfred cried loud!

I heard my baby cry! I cried. Maybe louder than Manfred. First time in my life, I cried like that due to joy and relief. I COL - cried out loud. I think I stunned the hubby a little until he was asked to cut the umbilical cord. The happy hubby did it with great joy. :)

The midwives and the PD did what they needed to do while Doc Ho stitched me up. I turned to my right and looked at my baby. He was covered in the white stuff and some blood. They cleaned, weighed and wrapped him. Then they placed my baby on my chest. He was gorgeous. He was lovely. My baby, smelled so good. For that 30 seconds, there is just NO words to describe how I felt. Only mothers can feel that kind of joy. Love at first sight.

Then the nurse came and took him. As she carried him, his little head of hair brushed across my cheek. It was like the BEST feeling ever! My heart just melt away. Love. This is seriously LOVE @ FIRST SIGHT.

Then the PD came over and said that my baby needs to be sent to NICU - special care. As Manfred was under stress during this difficult labour, his breathing was not regular. I pouted. But so long Manfred is fine. :) 

And the post challenges: 

1. Slept with the Discomfort of the stitches 

2. Got out of the bed and WALK

3. Pee in the toilet bowl

4. Wash your stitches and wounds properly

5. Apply the anti septic cream

I have done 1-4. No.5 I still couldnt do it on my own yet, as I cant see my stitches below. :( Hubby is helping me with that. 

I know there are many girlfriends out there who are also pregnant now. I wish all of you all the best. Its not easy, its never easy. But when u see your baby, its totally WORTH IT. "

Written on 13 July. 


And some pictures to show. Taken on THE DAY. :) 

Manfred boy, when r u coming out?

Boy ah, mummy body ache everyday leh. When u wanna come out?

last week u weighed 3.3kg and mummy is v proud of u. 3.3kg is a nice weight, u can come out anytime le la. Mummy is starting her Maternity leave tmr. :) Waiting for ur arrival.

Din feel much movement from u today. Lazy le har??

Move it. MOVE IT. BABY.

Mummy learns diaper folding.

And I'm damn proud. Coz I've never see how one is being folded. It's actually not difficult, or maybe the instructions are just good. :) Bought 12 pcs pack from Pureen brand.

So proud seriously.

Losing a Friend.

Having to lose a friend is never easy.

To me, a friend who used to be a Dear to me, and suddenly just lost it like that, is a heart break to me. It's almost like a break up, and could take months/years to heal. I know, I don't look like someone who cares about losing a friend. But the inner side of me, is actually a very attached person. Once I like a person, it takes time to "unlike" and forget. Surface is what you see, but you don't judge me by my hard cover.

It's true that it's not a matter how long you know the person, or how well you truly know the person, but it's how much good and bad memories you two share together.

Someone who can "click" with me, is not easy to find, as I'm not someone who is born with the friendly blood. It's only FATE if I can click with one without much "masking" on the face. Fatefully yours. I treasure each and every one who has been through thin and thick with me, thou I may not voice it out. But in my heart, I feel really blessed and lucky. :)

I may not be the best someone you go shopping with, or the best someone you go clubbing with. But I know, when my friends need me during their down times, I will be there. I don't mind writing a song or two for you when you needed some encouragement. I m ok to be a clown to make you laugh during your down times. And I'm not someone to count to the nearest dollar and cent with my friends. But if you are one of those who diedie must count to every single cent with me, then I may do the same to you lar. I always believe that there is no equality or fair share between good friends. Sometimes you win a little, sometimes you lose a little. It's like that. That's what makes a relationship balanced.

I can be stubborn at times, or rudely show my impatience at times, but I won't hold any grudges lar. Sleep, wake up and its a brand new day! Noone is perfect. Everyone has their flaws, even your chosen partner.

Yes, friends come and go, some merely left footsteps, some walked the your journey with you. Some footsteps trails are longer, some are shorter, but every trails of footsteps have their stories to tell.

Some friends move on happy without you, some stay with you - no matter what. If it's their happier choice, I wish them love and happiness. Sometimes, feelings change. Relationships have a different turn in direction. Sometimes more suitable people come into your life and you drop your old friends along the way. I guess that is part & parcel of life which I have to learn to move on.

There is no "forever", as much as many people hope it could exist. Just be glad you were blessed with such a good friend once. 

A song for all my lost friends who were once very very dear to me. :) It's a pity we can't be Best Friends Forever, like what we thought we could till end of time. I will definitely still smile at the good and silly, but fond memories that we have shared, even when I'm sharing them with my grand children. Now, it's time to let go, give my heart a little time to heal the pain, and bid goodbye to you. I wish life treats you good and bless you with all the happiness you've ever deserved.

Till then...

I wish you love. 

I wish you bluebirds in the Spring, To give your heart a song to sing; And then a kiss, but more than this I wish you love. And in July, a lemonade, To cool you in some leafy glade; I wish you health and more than wealth, I wish you love.
My breaking heart and I agree That you and I could never be, So with my best, my very best, I set you free. I wish you shelter from the storm, A cozy fire to keep you warm; But most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.

37 weeks - near to the final lap.

It's getting bigger, and cramped inside. Dr Ho said "Anytime". But i was hoping Manfred will pop out when he is ready, like 3kg-3.5kg.

Last night his daddy suddenly hugged me and said "I can't wait for Manfred to come out... Can we go Dr Ho there and ask him to induce?" LOL. Can you imagine MY FACE. >..< Hee.

I think I'm mentally ready. Anytime. I just pray for a "more convenient" signal from the boy. Manfred baby, give mummy a good signal ok?

I enjoyed all the trimesters thru out, hmm, but recently, when the aches all start kicking in, it's really a little tough for me. Not as agile. Can't walk with grace, like a swan. Not as energetic. Fatigue is the only word to describe my daily life, no matter where I am, or what I'm doing... I'm always tired nowadays. I can sleep-in until noon on weekends. But after washing up, I'm tired again, and there, I collapsed on the bed again, before I even could have a decent lunch.  Brunch.  I M TIRED. It feels like M-O-N-D-A-Y everyday. I have never felt so sucky at work, seriously. I love my job and everything else, but now, the fatigue is causing me to drag to work. What's causing me the fatigue, seriously? Manfred baby? He needs more rest? But I don't have the intention to take pre-Maternity Leave, so I will work until Manfred pops. So from now till then, I will continue to stone in office with a blank look and mind.

Did I mention Manfred's wriggly kicks and punches more often nowadays, making me wriggle in my seat too? Sometimes he is trying to push his head out, can feel the heavy pressure down there. And I will ask him "Son, u sure u r ready??" And then he will think think about it, and stopped. Hee! Of coz, my stomach feels really bloated and heavy now. Pls, don't ask me to walk up any sloppy angles if you still wanna stay alive. hah! 

Daddy was silently hoping that Manfred could pop on his birthday, 5th July. Hmm, I have no preference, so long as Manfred is healthy and ready!! His mummy is ready anytime from now. :D

We have packed the hospital bag, and have bought most of the stuff required. The only thing I may have a little regret, is that I should have maybe gotten a double pump. Heard from many mummies and read from forums that double pump really help to save A LOT of time and effort. But well, we shall see how... see if Daddy is sweeeeet enough lor... *Hint* Yap, the sum is Woohoo too!

Ok, share a silly thing I would do from now until Manfred is here. Every night, I straighten/blow nice nice my hair before I sleep. So just in case Manfred wanna pop in the middle of the night, I have nicer hair to deliver him. Ok... lame. BUT, it's for photo-taking purpose lar. No vain mummy would want to take picture with your new born with like hair sticking out from EVERYWHERE right??! So, it does makes sense actually. Teeheehee~ So I was thinking along the "Murphy's law" and maybe, just that ONE NIGHT when I'm too tired to kiap my hair straight before I sleep, Manfred will decide to say "Hello" that early, very early morning. And if he does that, the first thing i would do when he pops out, i will smack his butt gao gao to settle the 私人恩怨 i have with him first.

I've been drinking cooling stuff and coconut water nearly daily, hoping for a "cleaner" and easier delivery. And maybe "somemore" durians, hoping Manfred could grow bigger. Still, sashimi and beer are out of reach... even after Manfred pops, as I will (may) be breastfeeding him.

18 days to EDD! :D

Yes, I'm looking forward! Just nice, my jobs on hands at work are 99% completed. So yup, I won't be taking in new jobs already.

Yay! Until then... :)

U know you want to, but you can't...

A lot of things have changed during this transition period, and I dont ask you to accept me for who I am or how I look now.

Sometimes you just want to accept the person for who they are, but its just so... not easy. You would ask, what happened to the person I've married less than a year ago.

The crazy amount of weight I have gained, near 20kg, and the impossible-to-finish-counting stretch marks that happily leeched on my tummy, I know.. are just a bigbig turnoff and its also your huge worry if they will follow me for life. They may. Oh, and my cannot-find-my-neck bloated face too. (Scary eh.)

The aching in the bones, especially the pelvis bones, made me have to walk like some old Penguins, although I'm trying my best to walk like I'm on some runway... but Epic Fail - its clumsy and Not cute. (lol)

Im getting so clumsy now, ever since last Monday when my pelvis bone starts aching. I can't even wear my shorts properly (after bath) as my legs cannot be carried up higher than the knee level and the worst, my big tummy dis-enable me to bend forward. So I have to wear like this - Bend my upper body as low as I can, right hand holding the shorts freely hang in the air at about knee level, trying to "one-try" and fit my right leg into that hole, and then change hand, same level or lower, "one-try" and fit my other leg in. Sometimes it takes more than 2 tries. And sometimes I lost my balance and hopped a bit. All because of the pelvis aches.

So clumsy of me, that I don't even wished you would see it happening. That's why I would always locked the room door when Im changing and you are outside of the room. Then I would, comfortably, sit on the bed, and try to wear my pants/shorts taking my own sweet time. In the room, it's still ok, at least I can sit on the bed for more comfort. But in the bathroom - Argh, its another different story.

When I woke up from bed, I hate to let you see that side of me too. I totally have to limp to the toilet in the most awkward manner you cant imagine. And my finger bony joints are painful too, they cant hold tight to something, coz when I bend them together, ouch! My fingertips cant touch my palm. I have the infamous Buter Fingers now. And that was why I accidentally dropped you iPhone yesterday during breakfast. And u gave me that angry stare and asked me "What are you doing?" I knew, at that point of time, I dont have to explain much. I just kept quiet and ate my sandwich. Coz you wouldnt understand, and would just categorize my reason for an excuse.

I always hate letting people see the weak side of me. My smile and and loud laughters often cover it. And I hope you dont get to see them as well. But I cant hide what is obvious on my surface.

People said being pregnant is beautiful, I dont know where did that come from. haha. But nevertheless, my love for Manfred Baby stays. Jiayou Baby, in 19 days to come! We will PUSH together.

It's a Blink-A-Blink Weekend!

This weekend ZOOMS passed.
Too fast.

Maybe becoz you're coming soon.

A few highlights - I found my coconuts! @ Kovan Hawker. Yes, those GREEN OLD COCONUTS! The water is not sweet - compared to those small thai ones. But its better for BB, becoz its cooling, and I m having ulcer. :(

And then Yujing finally got her new desktop from Sim lim! Woohoo! She is one very lucky girl, maybe that is the best part of being the single child.

For today, we had 126 Geylang Dim Sim for lunch, my favourite!!! Expensive but nice.

And guess what, after craving for Mao Shan Wang for the whole week, and Manfred's daddy is not willing to oblige to the request.... My dad bought 2 boxes without me complaining to him. WOOHOO! Father knows best. Its shiokmax! With the seeds, as slim as... 1/3 of a iPhone depth. Nice~~~ I wanted to only have 2 seeds, but ended up... erm .. *guilty look*

The BBQ for Michael Fong's farewell was really nice. :) Though the attention is on Manfred, most of the time. : ) Everyone is so excited about Manfred.

We are going to see manfred tmr at Doc Ho! And gonna listen to your heartbeat o!

You are a full term baby!