Mummy learns diaper folding.

And I'm damn proud. Coz I've never see how one is being folded. It's actually not difficult, or maybe the instructions are just good. :) Bought 12 pcs pack from Pureen brand.

So proud seriously.

Losing a Friend.

Having to lose a friend is never easy.

To me, a friend who used to be a Dear to me, and suddenly just lost it like that, is a heart break to me. It's almost like a break up, and could take months/years to heal. I know, I don't look like someone who cares about losing a friend. But the inner side of me, is actually a very attached person. Once I like a person, it takes time to "unlike" and forget. Surface is what you see, but you don't judge me by my hard cover.

It's true that it's not a matter how long you know the person, or how well you truly know the person, but it's how much good and bad memories you two share together.

Someone who can "click" with me, is not easy to find, as I'm not someone who is born with the friendly blood. It's only FATE if I can click with one without much "masking" on the face. Fatefully yours. I treasure each and every one who has been through thin and thick with me, thou I may not voice it out. But in my heart, I feel really blessed and lucky. :)

I may not be the best someone you go shopping with, or the best someone you go clubbing with. But I know, when my friends need me during their down times, I will be there. I don't mind writing a song or two for you when you needed some encouragement. I m ok to be a clown to make you laugh during your down times. And I'm not someone to count to the nearest dollar and cent with my friends. But if you are one of those who diedie must count to every single cent with me, then I may do the same to you lar. I always believe that there is no equality or fair share between good friends. Sometimes you win a little, sometimes you lose a little. It's like that. That's what makes a relationship balanced.

I can be stubborn at times, or rudely show my impatience at times, but I won't hold any grudges lar. Sleep, wake up and its a brand new day! Noone is perfect. Everyone has their flaws, even your chosen partner.

Yes, friends come and go, some merely left footsteps, some walked the your journey with you. Some footsteps trails are longer, some are shorter, but every trails of footsteps have their stories to tell.

Some friends move on happy without you, some stay with you - no matter what. If it's their happier choice, I wish them love and happiness. Sometimes, feelings change. Relationships have a different turn in direction. Sometimes more suitable people come into your life and you drop your old friends along the way. I guess that is part & parcel of life which I have to learn to move on.

There is no "forever", as much as many people hope it could exist. Just be glad you were blessed with such a good friend once. 

A song for all my lost friends who were once very very dear to me. :) It's a pity we can't be Best Friends Forever, like what we thought we could till end of time. I will definitely still smile at the good and silly, but fond memories that we have shared, even when I'm sharing them with my grand children. Now, it's time to let go, give my heart a little time to heal the pain, and bid goodbye to you. I wish life treats you good and bless you with all the happiness you've ever deserved.

Till then...

I wish you love. 

I wish you bluebirds in the Spring, To give your heart a song to sing; And then a kiss, but more than this I wish you love. And in July, a lemonade, To cool you in some leafy glade; I wish you health and more than wealth, I wish you love.
My breaking heart and I agree That you and I could never be, So with my best, my very best, I set you free. I wish you shelter from the storm, A cozy fire to keep you warm; But most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.

37 weeks - near to the final lap.

It's getting bigger, and cramped inside. Dr Ho said "Anytime". But i was hoping Manfred will pop out when he is ready, like 3kg-3.5kg.

Last night his daddy suddenly hugged me and said "I can't wait for Manfred to come out... Can we go Dr Ho there and ask him to induce?" LOL. Can you imagine MY FACE. >..< Hee.

I think I'm mentally ready. Anytime. I just pray for a "more convenient" signal from the boy. Manfred baby, give mummy a good signal ok?

I enjoyed all the trimesters thru out, hmm, but recently, when the aches all start kicking in, it's really a little tough for me. Not as agile. Can't walk with grace, like a swan. Not as energetic. Fatigue is the only word to describe my daily life, no matter where I am, or what I'm doing... I'm always tired nowadays. I can sleep-in until noon on weekends. But after washing up, I'm tired again, and there, I collapsed on the bed again, before I even could have a decent lunch.  Brunch.  I M TIRED. It feels like M-O-N-D-A-Y everyday. I have never felt so sucky at work, seriously. I love my job and everything else, but now, the fatigue is causing me to drag to work. What's causing me the fatigue, seriously? Manfred baby? He needs more rest? But I don't have the intention to take pre-Maternity Leave, so I will work until Manfred pops. So from now till then, I will continue to stone in office with a blank look and mind.

Did I mention Manfred's wriggly kicks and punches more often nowadays, making me wriggle in my seat too? Sometimes he is trying to push his head out, can feel the heavy pressure down there. And I will ask him "Son, u sure u r ready??" And then he will think think about it, and stopped. Hee! Of coz, my stomach feels really bloated and heavy now. Pls, don't ask me to walk up any sloppy angles if you still wanna stay alive. hah! 

Daddy was silently hoping that Manfred could pop on his birthday, 5th July. Hmm, I have no preference, so long as Manfred is healthy and ready!! His mummy is ready anytime from now. :D

We have packed the hospital bag, and have bought most of the stuff required. The only thing I may have a little regret, is that I should have maybe gotten a double pump. Heard from many mummies and read from forums that double pump really help to save A LOT of time and effort. But well, we shall see how... see if Daddy is sweeeeet enough lor... *Hint* Yap, the sum is Woohoo too!

Ok, share a silly thing I would do from now until Manfred is here. Every night, I straighten/blow nice nice my hair before I sleep. So just in case Manfred wanna pop in the middle of the night, I have nicer hair to deliver him. Ok... lame. BUT, it's for photo-taking purpose lar. No vain mummy would want to take picture with your new born with like hair sticking out from EVERYWHERE right??! So, it does makes sense actually. Teeheehee~ So I was thinking along the "Murphy's law" and maybe, just that ONE NIGHT when I'm too tired to kiap my hair straight before I sleep, Manfred will decide to say "Hello" that early, very early morning. And if he does that, the first thing i would do when he pops out, i will smack his butt gao gao to settle the 私人恩怨 i have with him first.

I've been drinking cooling stuff and coconut water nearly daily, hoping for a "cleaner" and easier delivery. And maybe "somemore" durians, hoping Manfred could grow bigger. Still, sashimi and beer are out of reach... even after Manfred pops, as I will (may) be breastfeeding him.

18 days to EDD! :D

Yes, I'm looking forward! Just nice, my jobs on hands at work are 99% completed. So yup, I won't be taking in new jobs already.

Yay! Until then... :)

U know you want to, but you can't...

A lot of things have changed during this transition period, and I dont ask you to accept me for who I am or how I look now.

Sometimes you just want to accept the person for who they are, but its just so... not easy. You would ask, what happened to the person I've married less than a year ago.

The crazy amount of weight I have gained, near 20kg, and the impossible-to-finish-counting stretch marks that happily leeched on my tummy, I know.. are just a bigbig turnoff and its also your huge worry if they will follow me for life. They may. Oh, and my cannot-find-my-neck bloated face too. (Scary eh.)

The aching in the bones, especially the pelvis bones, made me have to walk like some old Penguins, although I'm trying my best to walk like I'm on some runway... but Epic Fail - its clumsy and Not cute. (lol)

Im getting so clumsy now, ever since last Monday when my pelvis bone starts aching. I can't even wear my shorts properly (after bath) as my legs cannot be carried up higher than the knee level and the worst, my big tummy dis-enable me to bend forward. So I have to wear like this - Bend my upper body as low as I can, right hand holding the shorts freely hang in the air at about knee level, trying to "one-try" and fit my right leg into that hole, and then change hand, same level or lower, "one-try" and fit my other leg in. Sometimes it takes more than 2 tries. And sometimes I lost my balance and hopped a bit. All because of the pelvis aches.

So clumsy of me, that I don't even wished you would see it happening. That's why I would always locked the room door when Im changing and you are outside of the room. Then I would, comfortably, sit on the bed, and try to wear my pants/shorts taking my own sweet time. In the room, it's still ok, at least I can sit on the bed for more comfort. But in the bathroom - Argh, its another different story.

When I woke up from bed, I hate to let you see that side of me too. I totally have to limp to the toilet in the most awkward manner you cant imagine. And my finger bony joints are painful too, they cant hold tight to something, coz when I bend them together, ouch! My fingertips cant touch my palm. I have the infamous Buter Fingers now. And that was why I accidentally dropped you iPhone yesterday during breakfast. And u gave me that angry stare and asked me "What are you doing?" I knew, at that point of time, I dont have to explain much. I just kept quiet and ate my sandwich. Coz you wouldnt understand, and would just categorize my reason for an excuse.

I always hate letting people see the weak side of me. My smile and and loud laughters often cover it. And I hope you dont get to see them as well. But I cant hide what is obvious on my surface.

People said being pregnant is beautiful, I dont know where did that come from. haha. But nevertheless, my love for Manfred Baby stays. Jiayou Baby, in 19 days to come! We will PUSH together.

It's a Blink-A-Blink Weekend!

This weekend ZOOMS passed.
Too fast.

Maybe becoz you're coming soon.

A few highlights - I found my coconuts! @ Kovan Hawker. Yes, those GREEN OLD COCONUTS! The water is not sweet - compared to those small thai ones. But its better for BB, becoz its cooling, and I m having ulcer. :(

And then Yujing finally got her new desktop from Sim lim! Woohoo! She is one very lucky girl, maybe that is the best part of being the single child.

For today, we had 126 Geylang Dim Sim for lunch, my favourite!!! Expensive but nice.

And guess what, after craving for Mao Shan Wang for the whole week, and Manfred's daddy is not willing to oblige to the request.... My dad bought 2 boxes without me complaining to him. WOOHOO! Father knows best. Its shiokmax! With the seeds, as slim as... 1/3 of a iPhone depth. Nice~~~ I wanted to only have 2 seeds, but ended up... erm .. *guilty look*

The BBQ for Michael Fong's farewell was really nice. :) Though the attention is on Manfred, most of the time. : ) Everyone is so excited about Manfred.

We are going to see manfred tmr at Doc Ho! And gonna listen to your heartbeat o!

You are a full term baby!

I want to think like a child...

When I'm not at work. When I'm on my own, when I'm at home.... I wanna think like how a child would think, given her God given innocence.

I hope to see things from another perspective. I m learning to trust and not to judge, to be honest, and kind.

I can be hurt by others, but I don't wan to pay back to others who hurt me. I just wanna move on after seeing someone's true colors.

While growing up, especially when started to work in the society, our minds grow faster and stronger, but it's more on how to take things to our advantage given that we are all working in a battlezone. Whoever wins, whoever survives.

Now that I have Manfred, I wan to clear my mind all over and start thinking anew.

Some things I can't do....

Like wearing my shorts after bathe. I can't do it so normally anymore. I have to do it in a painful and awkward manner. Super hate it. I wished I can just wear a towel go into the room, sit on the bed and do all these. Sometimes I lose balance while trying to wear the stupid shorts. And I hopped a few steps.

I cant bend forward to pick something from the floor, I do it by using my toes to kiap.

I can't massage my legs on my own le. And I feel freaking blessed when daddy do that for me. Though it wasn't like frequent everyday thing, I feel loved when he remembered.

Alright I'm freaking tired and cannot type properly le. Good night