Manfred down with flu

Poor darling. Heard him sniff sniff while sleeping at night. Refuses milk or only drinks like 3oz and then vomited.

Last night had put 4ml of of fei zai water into his night feed and it really helps! He slept all the way to 4am cried for a diaper change, cried at 6am for morning feed.

Anyway he had shaved botak on 17.11.12 and I really missed his astro boy hairstyle. :(

Hope darling get well soon.

情势未了 － Unfinished Matters

易经。情势未了

陈师傅说我的命很旺。可以旺家人，旺老公和孩子。可是偏偏我有很多东西放不下，看不开。其实我懂得。我懂应该怎样做，可是最后还是放不下的。

《以柔克刚》－ 我做得到吗？

放下一些曾经对我来说很重要的人，我又做得到吗？

If one day, robots could replace human AEs... then what could I be?

If this day comes, I'd be lost.

Well, thou Im always cursing and swearing, but I love my job. I mean if there comes a day that I dont even feel like swearing anymore, it also means I have lost the passion for my job.

Its the nature of the job I enjoy - in the illusionized world of design. No right or wrong, you just have to sell it like a masterpiece. Servicing clients, especially difficult ones has its combo challenges. And because we are not selling products, but designs, which is very subjective, it takes a little more than "that" to SELL. How do you convince your clients that it's WHITE when it's actually BLACK... Or that it's a chicken, when it's actually a duck... Ahhh, that's our job... :) Not saying that we always "Smoke"our clients, but most of the times we have to draw an illusion for them to nod their head and smile silly.. and eventually sign the contract. But first of all, we have to LOVE what we are selling to the clients lar. It's business 道德。

Sometimes the hubby farking hate it when I swear and scold THE "F" word... or some other Hokkien vulgarities when I share with him stories at work. BUT, its difficult not to swear when u meet people who have no common sense, or unreasonable, or vent anger on you when they are not in their best mood, or think they are big fark when they pay peanuts... It's very frustrating! Please, someone introduce me an AE who doesn't swear... I would like to meet The SAINT.

Apart from "those clients' problems", of coz there are a lot of internal problems. When we are over-busy and bring in too much "business", designers have too much on their plates, and they "black face" us lor. But when we don't bring in as much as we could, I WILL GET CALLED INTO THE ROOM and kenna questioned. :( ME! Not the team. Very sians one lar.

But, overall, Im really glad that I still have a very positive team, as in my AEs. Of coz we grumble (ALOT) when we kenna "kiap" sandwiched between boss and designers and clients (WOAH, 3 way sia), but we made it thru most of the times. The best way out is to make jokes outta every problems we face lor, humour is the best medicine and solution. Laugh over it, go back sleep, and tomorrow is a good ol' brand new day! Yes, AE is not for everyone... not for the faint-hearted, hot-headed, bimbo etc.

I don't seldom bring work frustrations back home. Not worth it. Especially now that I have my precious darling waiting for me back home, SMILE! And the world will smile with you. :D

Coming back to the title, hmm... i dont think i will be going back to marketing. This is the career where I will stay. unless... I dunno, maybe some really good offers approach me. :) But, I dont think so.

OR, i will just be a SAHM for Manfred. :) But, but, I always believe WOMAN MUST BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT, no matter how much you earn, 少有少赚，多有多赚。Can never rely on your man for $$$. They will treat you like dust when years go by, and then you become this "yellow face woman". Yes, you can request for expensive luxurious gifts now and then lar... but ultimately you know you can afford it yourself even if he doesnt buy for you. :)

Ah, and the email comes in.. gotta go back to work. BA! (blog again)

and it's gonna be a loong weekend.

Shiok!

Gotta spend more time with small darling. Suddenly I've got this crazy craving to get preggy again. Dunno why. Kinda miss bring preggy. I know it's quite... DAFUQ. Maybe more maternal hormone hit me. I mean like after seeing Manfred, so cute.. I want more.

But I think big darling got phobia. All the shag nights, feeding and calming the cranky small darling sometimes.

Now at 3 mth plus, small darling is learning how to smile and laugh. He loves to laugh at daddy. Dun ask me Why. He looks funny or wad. Sometimes when I was trying to scold him, like not drinking milk or some notti acts, he smiles at me. How to scold him, u tell me...

I love him.

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Manfred's Birth Story.

For so long that I haven't blogged, I dunno where to begin. Ok, maybe on the birth of Manfred first. 

On the second day after i delivered, I wrote my experience on FB. Wanted to share with my friends out there, especially those going to deliver...

"On the 11th July, I thought this would be the day. My son, Manfred will be nicknamed 7-11. But my son didn't wanted to be a convenience store afterall. 

On the 11th July, I was admitted, with a crazy crowd of big-stomach women waiting at the labour ward. Manfred was 39 weeks, and Doc Ho wanted to induce him already. But the cervix was tough and hard, so he needs the cervix to be soften and dilated before he can induce Baby Manfred, and he inserted the pill to dilate. 

At 2pm, my contractions started, mlld and bearable, not any issue.. just like any menses cramp I had in the past. Pain is good. And it got "better" as time passed. At about 8pm, I started to even have problem walking around. Good. 

At 10 plus, the hubby went back home to rest for the battle the next day. I tossed and turned in bed, but couldn't sleep well as the contractions came more frequently and the pain level got higher. 

At 4.30am, I was sent to the delivery suite, aka waiting for labour! I called the hubby, and he reached within 15min! Salute! 

At 6.30am, still no progress yet, asked hubby to go catch some breakfast, in case its gonna be a LOOOOONNNNGGGGG wait. 

At 8am, Doc Ho came and checked for dilation, it's progressed to 1.5cm and cervix has soften, therefore we proceeded to induce Manfred. I was put on drip to fasten the progress of induction. 

At 9am, I couldn't stand the pain anymore, afterall, I have suffered for 18 hours of contraction pains already and each time getting stronger and more frequent. My tears automatically rolled down my cheeks as I frowned and felt helpless. The hubby stood up, went out to the nurses' counter, and seek epidural assistance. I thought I could 'tahan' somemore, but I moaned in pain. The "laughing gas" didnt help much. 

The EPIDURAL was MAGICAL, though I had to suffered the 3 jabs into my lower spine. But it was magical. Numb waist down after shortly 5-10 min. It didnt feel good at first to have numby legs, but I couldnt feel the labour contractions at all. Magical. 

At 11am, it was 6cm!

At 12.30am, it was 8-9cm.

And at 1.35am, 9.5cm! We began to push. 

Manfred was in a OB position, meaning, he was supposed to be facing inwards - to my backspine, instead he faced outwards to my tummy. Doctor said under such circumstances, some doctors will go for C-sect, but my doc is a very PRO-nature birth person, so he said he will try to turn the position of the baby.

The midwife came in and taught me how to PUSH. Doc Ho wasn't around. It was not easy to push as I was on epidural and didnt really know how to PUSH, where to PUSH. Well, there's always a first time to everything. 

So, we pushed and pushed, and PUUUUUSSSSSHHHHHED, only when the contraction peak is coming up, so that gave me some breathers in between. 

After 45min of pushing, I was tired already, and there is still no progress. Manfred was still inside. So they have to call in Doc Ho for assistance, while I rested for a while and the nurses prepared all the neccesary equipments. 

Doc Ho came in and started to use the vacuum to turn Manfred's position facing inwards. He tried a lot of times, and I tried pushing a lot of times too. It was mad desperate and tired. The pushing took too long, Manfred is gettin stressed, everybody in the room was getting stressed too. From one midwife, they called in another 2-3 more to help. 

I thought it was coming, as I have already tried my bestest and I was already on the verge of giving up. But Doc Ho looked at me with a serious look and said "no, he is not progressing". 

I cried. I didn't know what to do anymore. First time in my life, I wanted something to happen so badly. Doc Ho said I can't cry, I needed to concentrate. I needed to HELP HIM get Manfred out. The hubby was very encouraging beside me. Very supportive. Never doubting me while I doubted myself very much. 

I was given oxygen. 

The problem was the baby was a little too big. And he was stuck. And he was gettin stressed. If I could not manage to push him out in these 2 final rounds, I might have to go for C-sect which also means, I will have 2 sets of stitches!

I GAVE IT MY ALL! THE BIGGEST BREATH IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. THE LONGEST BREATH HELD! THE HARDEST PUSH! 

"Ok, baby is coming. Mei Lian, Final Push, Baby is coming!"

The hubby saw Doc Ho seriously using his strength to PULL Manfred out. 

Manfred cried.

Manfred cried loud!

I heard my baby cry! I cried. Maybe louder than Manfred. First time in my life, I cried like that due to joy and relief. I COL - cried out loud. I think I stunned the hubby a little until he was asked to cut the umbilical cord. The happy hubby did it with great joy. :)

The midwives and the PD did what they needed to do while Doc Ho stitched me up. I turned to my right and looked at my baby. He was covered in the white stuff and some blood. They cleaned, weighed and wrapped him. Then they placed my baby on my chest. He was gorgeous. He was lovely. My baby, smelled so good. For that 30 seconds, there is just NO words to describe how I felt. Only mothers can feel that kind of joy. Love at first sight.

Then the nurse came and took him. As she carried him, his little head of hair brushed across my cheek. It was like the BEST feeling ever! My heart just melt away. Love. This is seriously LOVE @ FIRST SIGHT.

Then the PD came over and said that my baby needs to be sent to NICU - special care. As Manfred was under stress during this difficult labour, his breathing was not regular. I pouted. But so long Manfred is fine. :) 

And the post challenges: 

1. Slept with the Discomfort of the stitches 

2. Got out of the bed and WALK

3. Pee in the toilet bowl

4. Wash your stitches and wounds properly

5. Apply the anti septic cream

I have done 1-4. No.5 I still couldnt do it on my own yet, as I cant see my stitches below. :( Hubby is helping me with that. 

I know there are many girlfriends out there who are also pregnant now. I wish all of you all the best. Its not easy, its never easy. But when u see your baby, its totally WORTH IT. "

Written on 13 July. 


And some pictures to show. Taken on THE DAY. :) 

Manfred boy, when r u coming out?

Boy ah, mummy body ache everyday leh. When u wanna come out?

last week u weighed 3.3kg and mummy is v proud of u. 3.3kg is a nice weight, u can come out anytime le la. Mummy is starting her Maternity leave tmr. :) Waiting for ur arrival.

Din feel much movement from u today. Lazy le har??

Move it. MOVE IT. BABY.

Mummy learns diaper folding.

And I'm damn proud. Coz I've never see how one is being folded. It's actually not difficult, or maybe the instructions are just good. :) Bought 12 pcs pack from Pureen brand.

So proud seriously.