And so its the biggest challenge so far, that im facing as Mrs Tong.
I don't even know if i can stick it through with you, after you successfully crashed my world last Sunday with a piece of news totally unexpected.
I asked myself, why should I forgive you? After something you have done, so irresponsible, to me and to the boys. And our days would be darkened these coming 3-4 years, of course of you.
Divorce - easy and hard way out. With your situation now, there's no way you could get the custody of the boys. No way. But for me - financially it's gonna be a struggle, but if i would be find a higher pay job then it shouldnt be a problem.
Ok, let's put it this way, if i had still loved you, I will stay through with you. But no, I don't. Not after how u treated me these 5 years. I feel like we are strangers living under the same roof. And after much initiatives from my side to try to make things better, but you dont reciprocate. I guess it's time I should stop - and both of us just come together as co-parents for Manman and Mitch.
Although you said you still love me - I wouldnt believe you. Think about it - if I would to leave you with the boys, you would have nothing with you. Nothing. Not a piece of asset. (obviously the house would be sold if we were to divorce) Nothing would stop you to say you still love me, so that I would be soft hearted and stay through with you. What I said makes sense right?
And if the mild chance did strike that I would to stay through with you - you do know what's gonna happen right?
1. I will jagar ALL your finance - forever. If you don't know how to - let the wife do it.
2. If in any case I wanna get something luxurious (eg. Bag) within these few years, but i cant because of our situation now; you know I will make noise and blame it ALL on you.
3. I will be judgemental and put the blame all on you AGAIN - when I walk pass some nice sushi restaurant, and all i could do; is only to WALK by and say bye.
4. If in any case I do not feel loved and doted - you know I will make noise again. And again, I will tell you. there's no point of us being together. Because I totally had enough of your cold shoulder and your laziness of not making our marriage work!
5. And the boys had to skip the things like piano lessons and art classes because of you - i will make you feel guilty about it.
6. You had always know that I had always wanted to be a stay home mum and jagar the kids right? By right, this could easily happen. But now - my life is x2 harder. Thanks to you. And yes, if they didnt turn out to be the boys I wanted them to be, you know what.
7. Yes, money can be earned back, like what I said. But this sum of money is a complete nightmare to me, and we could maybe get a condo if you didnt get yourself in this shit. Not that I'm a fan of condo, but still. Ok, maybe a decent 5 room.
8. I believe its also my own karma that this had happened. But still.....
9.Your life is gonna be VERY TOUGH. Its gonna be NO-EGO for you. It's even harder than climbing Mt Everest emotionally. Im a TOTAL BITCH ; im gonna treat you like a dog. You turned my life around 360 to the dark side. This is wad is gonna happen to you too. When I say now, means now. When I say Out, means out. Im gonna try find back the love i used to have for you. But if I couldnt, then sorry, means its been too long since I had really lost the love for you. But I said I'd try, right?
10. So if you are still begging us to stay by your side. Think very very hard. Think twice, think thrice.
On the bright side, if we can make it through this, (fuck! this is like signing up for Commando for 4 years!)... then yes, i believe this is a very good turn around. But still, if i dont feel like im your wife/your lover, I'm gonna walk away. Life is too short to waste on people who dont love/appreciate their spouse. I'm not perfect, but you had made me worse.
So think about it.
Saturday 17 October 2015
Saturday 8 August 2015
My thoughts about having a helper in the house.
It's been so long since i've procastinated to write something on this topic.
To begin with...
Having a helper was never in my mind. Ever. Even when I have manfred, have my own place to stay in, worked long hours. Mike and I could handle this pretty well. One of us would do the chores, and one of us would attend to the boy till his bedtime. Tired, yes. But we were still surviving, other than the occassional arguements on chores and stuff. When I got preggy with Mitchell, Manfred was then 13 months+. I got tired really easily and had kinda of a complicated pregnancy ever since the 3rd month into pregnancy - wasnt easy, phsically and mentally. But yes, we still made it till when Mitchell popped.
And then - that was our breaking point.
Mitchell was a very fussy baby - totally different from Manfred. Manfred was a much easier baby and a lot much independent. Mitchell was the exact opposite - 100% attention seeking, fussy, insecured, cried, screamed, yelled. You name it. Just attending to Mitchell alone was a big headache. As much as i got used to it as months passed, but I was physically drained, and with Manfred to share our love and attention, and the chores of course... Mike and I reached our max limit - the breaking point.
One night, when Mitchell was about 5 months - I couldnt hold it any longer. I told Mike "Let's get a helper." Mike, being very anti-helper too, - agreed. And so we began the search. We wanted someone older, more matured, with kids. And we found a candidate that fit all our criteria and yes, she has been staying with us for more than 6 months now.
A little background:
Manman and Mitch are under a babysitter's care. Fantastic nanny. Given a choice I would love her to look after my boys for full day, but i also understand that it would be way too tired for her as their age gap was pretty close. Therefore having a helper, Mitch would be over at nanny's for half a day, and Manman would still be there full day and we would pick him up after work. Mitch would be back at home with the helper in the noon.
Ok, back to the story:
So, we made arrangement for give up one room for her and Mitch. It took awhile before we got used to having someone else in the house and all. The orientation took a while for her to get used to our culture and environment too. It was, her first time to Singapore after all.
As much as we agreed that we would be all hands on when it comes to the boys, and only leave the chores to our her, but, that being said is simple. Reality strikes. When, after a day of work, meetings, sales targets ... and reaching home at 8 plus at night. We gradually leave Mitchell in the helper's care for basic needs (like coaxing him to sleep, and changing him), and I take care of Manfred's. Well, and that's how Manfred is really close and sticky to me now. We hang out together, we sleep together, learn together and play together. Mitchell was still a baby and therefore couldnt join us most of the time, and he was quite a terror. Haha! Only lately, now that he has turned 1 year old, he is welcomed in our play sessions a little more. He is a big destroyer, and given that Manman is a total neat freak, it freaks him out when his baby brother comes forward to destroy something he has painstakingly built/arranged - eg: his railway tracks!
If you asked me if it affects my relationship with the boys having a helper around. As of now, I would think the answer is a No (yet). I dont know about the future, but now.. it's still fine.
To be honest, that was also my first worry. I dont want to be detached from my boys if I were to get a helper. Initially I felt very uncomfortable when 2 hands would come over and take my wailing boy away while I was trying to coax him. But I also understood that she meant well as I needed to work the next day. It took me a while to "let it go". Instead I learn to spend quality time with the boys. After my dinner, it will almost be 9ish, i will spend some time to play with them or read with them before Mitchell turns in for the night and I will then spend the remaining pre-bedtime with manman - as he is able to hold some good conversations now, like what happened in the day etc.
Manman is 37 months now. And Mitch is 15 months. Manman sticks to me like chewing gum. Mitchell sticks to everyone in the house, or in the family, so I'm not worried for now. He sticks to the helper when we are at work, but he always welcome us with BIG SMILES when we reach our gate. He will ask Mike or me to carry him every single time when he sees us. So for now, he doesnt really has a preference, yet. He welcomes everyone (he knows) with big hugs and smiles.
But one thing for sure, I'm really grateful that I do not have to waaste my time on chores. The moment I reach home, it's ALL TIME with the boys. Mike and I have one less thing to argue about. Mike can go for his basketball a couple times weekly as I have a second pair of hands to handle the boys with me. I can have my dinner first while she looks after them for a while, and some time for me to bathe before i attend to the boys for the night.
From what I can see, Marie is a very patient person. There was a period of time when Mitchell refused sleep every night. Marie would be rocking him in her arms until he fell asleep. And there would be like until 12plus.
So my verdict after more than 6 months of having a helper: There's one more person to give love and care for my small boy - who is a total attention seeker. So, it's still good. I get to go out for dinner with friends sometimes. Another bonus is that sometimes we would leave the 2 boys under her care while Mike and I go for a quick grocery shopping without the boys (which is more efficient!) But of course, most of the time, we would bring the boys out with us, and we get to spend time with them alone. So Marie gets some rest too. It's a shag out to tend to Mitch now as he walks around the house so fast already, climbs and crawls, high and low. For a good 24 hours looking after him, it takes a lot of physical work.
i guess having a helper is afterall not a worry to be distanced away from your children, but it's really about HOW DEPENDENT U ARE ON YOUR HELPER. That is the key to the worrying question many mums are facing. Quality time aka laughter times are very very important to keep the bonding. Not about spending time watching cartoons together - but the physical interaction. How you can make them laugh and beg for your attention.
As much as I am guilty as a mum, because I spend more time and attention on Manman than Mitchell, but Im trying my best to fix this. When Mitchell reaches 18 months, I would have plans to put the 2 brothers togeher in one bed room, so I can spend bed time with them together.
Balance is the key. Wise words.
To begin with...
Having a helper was never in my mind. Ever. Even when I have manfred, have my own place to stay in, worked long hours. Mike and I could handle this pretty well. One of us would do the chores, and one of us would attend to the boy till his bedtime. Tired, yes. But we were still surviving, other than the occassional arguements on chores and stuff. When I got preggy with Mitchell, Manfred was then 13 months+. I got tired really easily and had kinda of a complicated pregnancy ever since the 3rd month into pregnancy - wasnt easy, phsically and mentally. But yes, we still made it till when Mitchell popped.
And then - that was our breaking point.
Mitchell was a very fussy baby - totally different from Manfred. Manfred was a much easier baby and a lot much independent. Mitchell was the exact opposite - 100% attention seeking, fussy, insecured, cried, screamed, yelled. You name it. Just attending to Mitchell alone was a big headache. As much as i got used to it as months passed, but I was physically drained, and with Manfred to share our love and attention, and the chores of course... Mike and I reached our max limit - the breaking point.
One night, when Mitchell was about 5 months - I couldnt hold it any longer. I told Mike "Let's get a helper." Mike, being very anti-helper too, - agreed. And so we began the search. We wanted someone older, more matured, with kids. And we found a candidate that fit all our criteria and yes, she has been staying with us for more than 6 months now.
A little background:
Manman and Mitch are under a babysitter's care. Fantastic nanny. Given a choice I would love her to look after my boys for full day, but i also understand that it would be way too tired for her as their age gap was pretty close. Therefore having a helper, Mitch would be over at nanny's for half a day, and Manman would still be there full day and we would pick him up after work. Mitch would be back at home with the helper in the noon.
Ok, back to the story:
So, we made arrangement for give up one room for her and Mitch. It took awhile before we got used to having someone else in the house and all. The orientation took a while for her to get used to our culture and environment too. It was, her first time to Singapore after all.
As much as we agreed that we would be all hands on when it comes to the boys, and only leave the chores to our her, but, that being said is simple. Reality strikes. When, after a day of work, meetings, sales targets ... and reaching home at 8 plus at night. We gradually leave Mitchell in the helper's care for basic needs (like coaxing him to sleep, and changing him), and I take care of Manfred's. Well, and that's how Manfred is really close and sticky to me now. We hang out together, we sleep together, learn together and play together. Mitchell was still a baby and therefore couldnt join us most of the time, and he was quite a terror. Haha! Only lately, now that he has turned 1 year old, he is welcomed in our play sessions a little more. He is a big destroyer, and given that Manman is a total neat freak, it freaks him out when his baby brother comes forward to destroy something he has painstakingly built/arranged - eg: his railway tracks!
If you asked me if it affects my relationship with the boys having a helper around. As of now, I would think the answer is a No (yet). I dont know about the future, but now.. it's still fine.
To be honest, that was also my first worry. I dont want to be detached from my boys if I were to get a helper. Initially I felt very uncomfortable when 2 hands would come over and take my wailing boy away while I was trying to coax him. But I also understood that she meant well as I needed to work the next day. It took me a while to "let it go". Instead I learn to spend quality time with the boys. After my dinner, it will almost be 9ish, i will spend some time to play with them or read with them before Mitchell turns in for the night and I will then spend the remaining pre-bedtime with manman - as he is able to hold some good conversations now, like what happened in the day etc.
Manman is 37 months now. And Mitch is 15 months. Manman sticks to me like chewing gum. Mitchell sticks to everyone in the house, or in the family, so I'm not worried for now. He sticks to the helper when we are at work, but he always welcome us with BIG SMILES when we reach our gate. He will ask Mike or me to carry him every single time when he sees us. So for now, he doesnt really has a preference, yet. He welcomes everyone (he knows) with big hugs and smiles.
But one thing for sure, I'm really grateful that I do not have to waaste my time on chores. The moment I reach home, it's ALL TIME with the boys. Mike and I have one less thing to argue about. Mike can go for his basketball a couple times weekly as I have a second pair of hands to handle the boys with me. I can have my dinner first while she looks after them for a while, and some time for me to bathe before i attend to the boys for the night.
From what I can see, Marie is a very patient person. There was a period of time when Mitchell refused sleep every night. Marie would be rocking him in her arms until he fell asleep. And there would be like until 12plus.
So my verdict after more than 6 months of having a helper: There's one more person to give love and care for my small boy - who is a total attention seeker. So, it's still good. I get to go out for dinner with friends sometimes. Another bonus is that sometimes we would leave the 2 boys under her care while Mike and I go for a quick grocery shopping without the boys (which is more efficient!) But of course, most of the time, we would bring the boys out with us, and we get to spend time with them alone. So Marie gets some rest too. It's a shag out to tend to Mitch now as he walks around the house so fast already, climbs and crawls, high and low. For a good 24 hours looking after him, it takes a lot of physical work.
i guess having a helper is afterall not a worry to be distanced away from your children, but it's really about HOW DEPENDENT U ARE ON YOUR HELPER. That is the key to the worrying question many mums are facing. Quality time aka laughter times are very very important to keep the bonding. Not about spending time watching cartoons together - but the physical interaction. How you can make them laugh and beg for your attention.
As much as I am guilty as a mum, because I spend more time and attention on Manman than Mitchell, but Im trying my best to fix this. When Mitchell reaches 18 months, I would have plans to put the 2 brothers togeher in one bed room, so I can spend bed time with them together.
Balance is the key. Wise words.
Wednesday 24 December 2014
有了幫手後的感想
拿著手上的髒衣服 正走向洗衣機的方向 才醒覺我已經有人幫我做家務了 我在幹嘛？突然好失落喔 是怎樣啦！矛盾的女人。自已掏腰包請了女傭 可是又捨不得家務事給了別人做。真是的。雖然我還是很 很 很 堅持孩子還是得由我和他們daddy兩手包辦。從泡奶 玩樂 學習 換尿片 沖涼 他們爹娘來就好了。雖然現在很堅決。可是以後事 誰能說呢。喔 我的「不放手」原來就是為什麼我請了女傭還是這樣忙的原因。曾經 我說過 生了孩子 然後又24小時都推給女傭照顧 那是生來幹嘛？有空才伸手過去玩一玩到最後 泡個奶都有問題 或是根本沒辦法一個人帶寶寶出去 喔 是怎樣？我很堅持說 我不需要女傭。放工後 我還是可以自己帶孩子！可是有兩個小孩年齡相差不到兩歲的把拔瑪嘛會知道 這不是開玩笑的 是會崩潰的累。做了一整天的工 有時還得看上司的臉色 帶了孩子回到家裡 已經8點多。晚餐都還沒解決。先弄好孩子 幫他們洗澡 餵奶 玩玩一下 轉一下 吓！已經十點了。晚餐還擱在餐桌上 沒動過。再哄完他們睡。。11點。晚餐 都冷了 吃兩口 我就請垃圾桶先生當宵夜了。吼 我一天的晚餐省省吃可以吃一個禮拜喔 （所以當很多人問我生了第二個很快瘦下來的原因是。。。）然後 吃完晚餐。。11點多開始做家務事 洗衣 掃地 抹地。有時後 工作還得帶回家做 累～ 然後 漸漸的 兩夫妻 就越來越遙遠 好似不認識對方了 我們只是「工作夥伴」一起分擔孩子和家務事。睡同張床 卻 像相隔 太平洋 累完了 工作 孩子 家務 都是罢著一張沒表情的臉。週末也是忙著帶孩子 根本沒有屬於我們兩個人的時間。之前只有老大的時候 還可以偶爾放在他大伯家 或二舅母家 一下子 我們偷溜去看戲什麼的。可是現在兩個的時候 哪好意思。我們自己都忙不過來 不可能 期望別人可以輕鬆看帶一下。坦白說 如果 孩子的爺爺奶奶公公婆婆都是退休人士 在家閒著 那 當我們想去吃個飯或看個戲的時候 可以把兄弟一人放一邊 看帶一下的話 我大多就不會請女傭了。還是很不習慣 家裡多了個人 更不習慣小米粉跟女傭同房睡 可是我們房間太小啦 擠不進4個人！雖然 有人幫我燙衣服了！（這可能是我請幫手最快樂的事）雖然我的廁所真的香了很多 雖然我家的地上 走起路來真的有 「咿～伊」的聲音 。。。就好吧 希望是好的吧 可是 孩子還是我自己負責。就算是說得太早也罷。雙溪動物的我 矛盾喔。
讓我回去職場做多幾年，讓我去看看市場 可以在家做些什麼 有份收入 那我就可以在家帶孩子了！我很希望可以親手帶孩子 我只是不喜歡伸手要錢。可以說是自尊問題。所以不可以沒有收入。
ps
我相信很多嘛咪跟我身同感受。
讓我回去職場做多幾年，讓我去看看市場 可以在家做些什麼 有份收入 那我就可以在家帶孩子了！我很希望可以親手帶孩子 我只是不喜歡伸手要錢。可以說是自尊問題。所以不可以沒有收入。
ps
我相信很多嘛咪跟我身同感受。
Thursday 11 December 2014
The boys update!
OMG.. how time flies. Mitchell will be 7 months in a few days!
He is weighing 9.5kg (yup, above 95 percentile) - this weight should be his 9th month weight in fact. He is "standing" tall at 69cm. Good, said the doctor. (which has now become our family doctor - Dr Choi from Prohealth Fernvale)
Initially we brought him to a Polyclinic for his vaccination, but after just one time, I had regretted. Even though it's heavily subsidised at polyclinics, but its not what I would want for my child. The jab was done as if Mitchell was part of a factory assembly line. It's like a Jab-n-Go thing. The doctor who was supposed to do assessment on Mitchell did it in a very "bo-chup" manner. I really don't like. Or maybe, Manfred had his vaccinations and assessments at a ptd PD - things were really different, so I was quite disappointed when I took Mitchell to a polyclinic. Ok, maybe I didn't manage my expectations well enough. I had never missed vaccinations for Manfred, as the PD's clinic would call and remind me. Yes, it wasn't cheap, but I have to say, "It's all worth it". But Mitchell, he was late for all his vaccinations. He should be half done with all his vaccinations by 7 months, but he is oh-so-late, sigh, partly also due to we had forgot about it, and no follow-up reminders from polyclinic.
So on Monday, I took Mitch and his health booklet to Prohealth Fernvale to see Dr Choi. He also commented that Mitch had missed quite a bit of vaccinations, but it's ok, we will make up for those we have missed. So he wrote me a schedule like what vaccinations and when Mitch would be taking, moving forward. At least it gives me, as a mummy some consolation and assurance. And the best thing was Dr Choi was so gentle with the jab, Mitch didn't whine a bit. Compared to the one he took at the polyclinic, he cried out loud - I know he would, when I saw how the 'missy' stabbed him. :( I remembered when Manfred had his jabs with Dr Lillian, he did NOT cry at any of his vaccinations. When he had his last dose of vaccination by 2 years old, it was done at polyclinic, he cried. :(
So, I conclude that I'm going to pump in more money for Mitch's vaccinations. He's going for jabs the in Jan and Feb to make up for those he had missed.
And for Mitch's growth update:
- He can sit for a short while before falling sideway. The doc did mention that bigger size babies tend to take a little longer for them to really sit by themselves. ;P
- He is taking cereal daily 2x a day.
- He can read our lips and make the sound we are making (sometimes)
- Not crawling, but definitely rolling and turning. He fell from our bed last night! Mike said he had placed him in the centre of the bed, and he was on the floor yelling in like 3 minutes. :( I told this incident would not happen again after Manfred's roll off the bed incident 2 years ago, I was wrong. It happened AGAIN.
- And we are putting him in the high chair when we have dinner outside, he is happier compared to sitting in the pram.
- And then I just realised that Mitch is a kangaroo baby more than a pram baby. I could go gai-gai for hours when he is in a carrier. But when he is in the pram, he whines, shouts, cries. OMG. When in the carrier, he would sleep when he is tired and just cling close to me when he is awake. :) My lil koala baby.
- He's still taking morning nap (right after his morning feed), then one more in the noon, and a short one in the early evening.
- By the way, Dr has just diagnosed him with sensitive nose, so would be better off without aircon. But coz Mitch sleeps in his zippy every night and nap, it would be too warm to sleep without aircon, so I'm still thinking how.
- He bites anything. ANYTHING AT ALL.
- Teething crankiness!
- The throw and knock anything stage is here, by the way.
As for Manfred's development (29 months):
- He is trying to speak in full sentences
- I'm trying to teach him Cantonese too, i hope he can at least learn ONE dialect.
- He is definitely in his terrible twos stage but he can be absolutely adoring sometimes. Sigh. This contradicting stage
- The hard approach doesn't work on him, the soft approach is more useful. But having said that, it means PATIENCE.
- He loves chicken rice, as much as he LOVES ANIMALS. Im pretty impressed that he knows 90% of the animals in his animal book and he LOVES the zoo of course. We could just sign up for zoo members soon~!
- Weight wise, he is 14kg.
- He loves to play with alphabets and he is learning spelling now.
- He is also picking up on chinese/mandarin.
As a parent's point of view:
- I think I can better manage the 2 boys alone. It really goes down to "Strategic Planning" and "Time Management". It can be done, with planning.
- Now then Mitch can better entertain himself with some biting toys sitting in his high chair, I can do some other chores if need to.
- Most of all, sometimes a little bit of crying is unavoidable. :)
And of course some pic to end the post.
He is weighing 9.5kg (yup, above 95 percentile) - this weight should be his 9th month weight in fact. He is "standing" tall at 69cm. Good, said the doctor. (which has now become our family doctor - Dr Choi from Prohealth Fernvale)
Initially we brought him to a Polyclinic for his vaccination, but after just one time, I had regretted. Even though it's heavily subsidised at polyclinics, but its not what I would want for my child. The jab was done as if Mitchell was part of a factory assembly line. It's like a Jab-n-Go thing. The doctor who was supposed to do assessment on Mitchell did it in a very "bo-chup" manner. I really don't like. Or maybe, Manfred had his vaccinations and assessments at a ptd PD - things were really different, so I was quite disappointed when I took Mitchell to a polyclinic. Ok, maybe I didn't manage my expectations well enough. I had never missed vaccinations for Manfred, as the PD's clinic would call and remind me. Yes, it wasn't cheap, but I have to say, "It's all worth it". But Mitchell, he was late for all his vaccinations. He should be half done with all his vaccinations by 7 months, but he is oh-so-late, sigh, partly also due to we had forgot about it, and no follow-up reminders from polyclinic.
So on Monday, I took Mitch and his health booklet to Prohealth Fernvale to see Dr Choi. He also commented that Mitch had missed quite a bit of vaccinations, but it's ok, we will make up for those we have missed. So he wrote me a schedule like what vaccinations and when Mitch would be taking, moving forward. At least it gives me, as a mummy some consolation and assurance. And the best thing was Dr Choi was so gentle with the jab, Mitch didn't whine a bit. Compared to the one he took at the polyclinic, he cried out loud - I know he would, when I saw how the 'missy' stabbed him. :( I remembered when Manfred had his jabs with Dr Lillian, he did NOT cry at any of his vaccinations. When he had his last dose of vaccination by 2 years old, it was done at polyclinic, he cried. :(
So, I conclude that I'm going to pump in more money for Mitch's vaccinations. He's going for jabs the in Jan and Feb to make up for those he had missed.
And for Mitch's growth update:
- He can sit for a short while before falling sideway. The doc did mention that bigger size babies tend to take a little longer for them to really sit by themselves. ;P
- He is taking cereal daily 2x a day.
- He can read our lips and make the sound we are making (sometimes)
- Not crawling, but definitely rolling and turning. He fell from our bed last night! Mike said he had placed him in the centre of the bed, and he was on the floor yelling in like 3 minutes. :( I told this incident would not happen again after Manfred's roll off the bed incident 2 years ago, I was wrong. It happened AGAIN.
- And we are putting him in the high chair when we have dinner outside, he is happier compared to sitting in the pram.
- And then I just realised that Mitch is a kangaroo baby more than a pram baby. I could go gai-gai for hours when he is in a carrier. But when he is in the pram, he whines, shouts, cries. OMG. When in the carrier, he would sleep when he is tired and just cling close to me when he is awake. :) My lil koala baby.
- He's still taking morning nap (right after his morning feed), then one more in the noon, and a short one in the early evening.
- By the way, Dr has just diagnosed him with sensitive nose, so would be better off without aircon. But coz Mitch sleeps in his zippy every night and nap, it would be too warm to sleep without aircon, so I'm still thinking how.
- He bites anything. ANYTHING AT ALL.
- Teething crankiness!
- The throw and knock anything stage is here, by the way.
As for Manfred's development (29 months):
- He is trying to speak in full sentences
- I'm trying to teach him Cantonese too, i hope he can at least learn ONE dialect.
- He is definitely in his terrible twos stage but he can be absolutely adoring sometimes. Sigh. This contradicting stage
- The hard approach doesn't work on him, the soft approach is more useful. But having said that, it means PATIENCE.
- He loves chicken rice, as much as he LOVES ANIMALS. Im pretty impressed that he knows 90% of the animals in his animal book and he LOVES the zoo of course. We could just sign up for zoo members soon~!
- Weight wise, he is 14kg.
- He loves to play with alphabets and he is learning spelling now.
- He is also picking up on chinese/mandarin.
As a parent's point of view:
- I think I can better manage the 2 boys alone. It really goes down to "Strategic Planning" and "Time Management". It can be done, with planning.
- Now then Mitch can better entertain himself with some biting toys sitting in his high chair, I can do some other chores if need to.
- Most of all, sometimes a little bit of crying is unavoidable. :)
And of course some pic to end the post.
Tuesday 16 September 2014
Mitchell's 4 months! **Update**
And so I wanna update on Mitchell's today as today he is turning 4 months!
Sleeping wise:
- For naps, he still sleep in the yao lan at nanny's place but during the weekends at home, he sleeps on the bed. I can choose to pat him to sleep on his side or, if I wana him to sleep longer, I will swaddle him to sleep for a longer stretch. If I were to swaddle him, I would have to carry him, stuff a pacifier and a beanie bag into his face, and rock/pat him to sleep.
- For night time, he sleeps in his cot. Before Mike turns in for the night, he would dream feed Mitch at about 1-2am. And Mitch will sleep thru until say 7-8am in the morning, sometimes waking up a little at 5plus and we will just stuff the pacifier back into his mouth.
Outdoor wise:
We used to put him in the pram when we go for dinner outside, but that doesnt work at all. He will start screaming in his pram. It was really angst and I used to get very pissed with him until my da ge told me not to get so pissed. First, my negative aura, the baby could feel it and he would feel more upset. This is just a phase and it will pass. A few months of such phase is so minor/nothing compared to my life time. (Which is also true) Think of the time when i broke up and stayed heart broken for more than half a year, at least I am blessed with a complete family now. It is tiring, but such phase will pass.
So, coming back to going outdoor, now I cant be bothered with the pram anymore. I carry him in the carrier. He can sleep a bit while I chomp down my dinner. Initially he needed me to walk and rock him in the carrier, but now with a pacifier and a beanie pillow, he can zzz like almost instant especially if he is so tired.
He can stay awake for a good 2 hours when we are out and when he starts to get cranky, we will know he wants his sleep.
Recently I started him on wearing the amber necklace (ska the teething necklace), and I think I see some improvements when he is out. And nope, I don't let him sleep with the necklace on at home. Only when we are outside and if he wears that and sleep in the carrier i'm fine with it. Coz at least he is still under my supervision.
I'm hoping that he can train himself to be independent enough to be in the pram while we are out. Like he can roam and sleep in the pram.
Feeding:
He nows feeds 5oz every 3-4 hours on formula S26. But recently he doesnt take his feeds seriously. He pushes out the bottle after like 1-2oz only. Im suspecting that he is teething and not in the best mood to feed. :( I'm trying different bottles. and different teats' sizes. Sometimes it helps, sometimes not.
One more month to go, and I can gradually start him on cereal, at least he will be more full on solids.
Mitch's Development
- Holds his head up
- Keep wanting to stand up on his legs when being carried under his armpit and legs touching ground
- Smile easily, and best time is after sleep/milk - especially morning.
- Talkative boy! Coo-Ahh-Ah!
Pictures! (From 1 month - 4 months)
Alright folks~ Will update soon!!
Sleeping wise:
- For naps, he still sleep in the yao lan at nanny's place but during the weekends at home, he sleeps on the bed. I can choose to pat him to sleep on his side or, if I wana him to sleep longer, I will swaddle him to sleep for a longer stretch. If I were to swaddle him, I would have to carry him, stuff a pacifier and a beanie bag into his face, and rock/pat him to sleep.
- For night time, he sleeps in his cot. Before Mike turns in for the night, he would dream feed Mitch at about 1-2am. And Mitch will sleep thru until say 7-8am in the morning, sometimes waking up a little at 5plus and we will just stuff the pacifier back into his mouth.
Outdoor wise:
We used to put him in the pram when we go for dinner outside, but that doesnt work at all. He will start screaming in his pram. It was really angst and I used to get very pissed with him until my da ge told me not to get so pissed. First, my negative aura, the baby could feel it and he would feel more upset. This is just a phase and it will pass. A few months of such phase is so minor/nothing compared to my life time. (Which is also true) Think of the time when i broke up and stayed heart broken for more than half a year, at least I am blessed with a complete family now. It is tiring, but such phase will pass.
So, coming back to going outdoor, now I cant be bothered with the pram anymore. I carry him in the carrier. He can sleep a bit while I chomp down my dinner. Initially he needed me to walk and rock him in the carrier, but now with a pacifier and a beanie pillow, he can zzz like almost instant especially if he is so tired.
He can stay awake for a good 2 hours when we are out and when he starts to get cranky, we will know he wants his sleep.
Recently I started him on wearing the amber necklace (ska the teething necklace), and I think I see some improvements when he is out. And nope, I don't let him sleep with the necklace on at home. Only when we are outside and if he wears that and sleep in the carrier i'm fine with it. Coz at least he is still under my supervision.
I'm hoping that he can train himself to be independent enough to be in the pram while we are out. Like he can roam and sleep in the pram.
Feeding:
He nows feeds 5oz every 3-4 hours on formula S26. But recently he doesnt take his feeds seriously. He pushes out the bottle after like 1-2oz only. Im suspecting that he is teething and not in the best mood to feed. :( I'm trying different bottles. and different teats' sizes. Sometimes it helps, sometimes not.
One more month to go, and I can gradually start him on cereal, at least he will be more full on solids.
Mitch's Development
- Holds his head up
- Keep wanting to stand up on his legs when being carried under his armpit and legs touching ground
- Smile easily, and best time is after sleep/milk - especially morning.
- Talkative boy! Coo-Ahh-Ah!
Pictures! (From 1 month - 4 months)
Alright folks~ Will update soon!!
Thursday 24 July 2014
Power up! Chicken Essence for Children By Eu Yan Sang
And so I may be a little "sua gu", I actually didn't know that there's chicken essence for children as young as 2 years old, until I got some sample from Eu Yan Sang for my big boy to try. Ahem... so Manfred is officially "eligible" for chicken essence!
I got this pack of Power Up! VisionBenefits include:
Improves Eyesight,
Boosts Mental Power
Promotes Quality Sleep
Improves Eyesight,
Boosts Mental Power
Promotes Quality Sleep
And there are 6 bottles (42g) in a pack.
A bottle of goodness!
Truth to told that the boy doesn't like it at the first trial, but I had expected that. If there is an award for "World's fussiest eater", I'm pretty confident that award would go to him. As much as he doesn't like the taste, I WILL DEFINITELY MAKE HIM TAKE THE GOODNESS, by hook or by crook.
WHY am I so aggressive on this, you may ask. Because this chicken essence contains some chinese herbs' extract that I have always wanted him to take, especially the Wolfberries (寧夏枸杞)! This boy is always glued to his iPad (Not very healthy for his eyes) and therefore I always try to add wolfberries into soups whenever I can! Wolfberries are good for improving eyesight, protecting the liver and boosting the immune system! Talking about boosting immune system, he fell sick just after 3 weeks of school! sigh! Worse thing, he spread his flu to his 2 months old baby brother. Now, the 2 boys are recovering from flu and cough.
See what I meant by GLUED to his iPad?... even ignoring his cousin. le sigh.
Other than Wofberries, there is also Beiqi ((北芪) and Bai He (百合) extract in the chicken essence.
Wolfberries (寧夏枸杞)
- Improves eyesight
- Protects the liver
- Boosts immune system
Beiqi ((北芪)
- helps to promote quality sleep
- promotes growth of new tissues
Bai He (百合)
- alleviate respiratory conditions like cough and dryness in the throat
- treat insomnia, inability to concentrate, restlessness and irritability
See, these TCM extracts are just what a growing toddler needs! That's why i am aggressive and firm to let Manfred try again (and again) until the bottle of black beauty goes into his tummy. And so I let him try again a week later. I warmed it up, put a small straw for him to suck. He rejected again. There has to be some way, I told myself. I googled "How to trick a child into foods he doesn't like". Simply, by hiding it!
Dinner came, and as I was preparing his share of "Bee Tai Mak", I secretly added half a bottle into his plate and mix it up with fishball and chicken bits. He finished them all!
*VICTORIOUS APPLAUD* So now, my plan is to mix half a bottle into his lunch and the other half into his dinner. Till now, he still doesn't know what his mummy does to his meals. :)
On top of the TCM extracts, there is also no caramel colouring, no preservatives and no added flavouring.
Of course, the TCM practice is always a slow but truly effective process. Hopefully with a bottle a day, it could really keep the doctor away! (or at least don't see the doc so often)
You can find the Eu Yan Sang Power Up! Chicken Essence at all Eu Yan Sang outlets and their online store. A pack of 6 bottles is retailing at SGD$17.80.
*This post is sponsored by Eu Yan Sang. I was given the Power Up! Vision chicken essence to let Manfred try for a week, and then to write a review on my blog.
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